Me: Do you want some lobster? I can get some live ones for cheap.
Katie: I can’t cook live lobsters.
Me: Why not?
Katie: They scream.
Me: So, your saying dead lobsters “scream” too?
Katie: Their souls are leaving in a bad way.
.@mittromney Beyond Iran, what would be some fun wars to do? You should also consider sanctions on Canada for having universal health care.— rob delaney (@robdelaney) October 10, 2012